My son had given me a long chain....like the ones with the little metal links on it. It had no handle but it did have a hook. I bought some food, stocked up on water and left for home......with Layla in the back seat of my car. Sight unseen. I had no idea where this was going or how it would turn out or how Billy would react or how I could afford vet bills and food for two dogs.
Layla was clearly frightened. She laid low in the back seat and didn't make a move or make a peep.
Our first stop was just past Roanoke, VA. I got out the chain and hooked it onto her collar. I got her out of the car. For her age she was strong and clearly not leash trained. I wrapped that chain around my right hand a few times to reel her in and I remember it cutting into my skin as she dragged my like a rag doll around the grassy area of the rest stop. She did her business, and after getting gas and candy supplies, we headed out again.
Virginia is a long state to drive from end to end. I did some thinking on that trip home. More along the lines, of what am I going to do with this dog? I don't necessarily want two dogs, but I could not leave her there either. I had a great idea. I would have her spayed, up to date on her shots. I would housebreak and crate train her. I would leash train her, and teach her basic commands. I knew I could do that. I did it with Billy and my methods worked fine. Once she was a more functional dog, I would find her a home. Yep! That solves it.
She stayed silent and still that entire trip. I was living in downtown Bethlehem at the time and I arrived home around 7 that night; too late to pick up Billy from the kennel. I did have a crate and set that up with blankets for Layla.
I offered her food and she took it gratefully along with some cold water. I took her outside and when she peed I did the happy dance and gave her a treat. I picked her up and brought her back inside the house. I gently caressed her from head to tail while I was walking. I wanted her to know it was ok. She was safe. I sat on the sofa with her and looked at her little face. Her strange pointy nose and her frightened brown eyes. I continued to pet her until she fell asleep in my lap....just like a baby. She relaxed for the first time probably since her own birth.
Her meet and greet with Billy was like they had known each other all of their lives. "Hey how you been?" "Great, how 'bout you Billy?" (Chest bump). There was nothing to it. Billy was alpha and Lay was the subordinate. They ate together, they played together, they slept together. And it was immediate. There was not one fight and no territorial issues.
I had her spayed just a week or so after I got her. Billy was already neutered, but I wanted her vet checked first and then we scheduled the operation after the vet check. She was healthy, no heart worm and no Parvo....those horrid diseases that are rampant in the south. She did fine. I anticipated her needs. She needed to go out after playing, sleeping and eating. They both did and I think she was so easy to housebreak because she simply followed Billy's lead.
Months went by and she was pushing a year. Training her to chill out, sit, stay, and walk on a leash was a different story. It was summer and on weekends I took my dogs to my parents' home in Coopersburg. The dogs hung out in the yard and I hung out by the pool. Wearing my bathing suit beneath shorts and a tank top, I stood at the top of my oak staircase with my bag of tanning potions and towels. Billy was downstairs waiting for me. Layla was behind me at the top of the stairs. She was doing spins and the happy dance. This was not her first ride to my parents' place and she knew, probably by the bag I had, where we were headed. She was so happy and so excited. I let out a nice breath at the thought of a day near the pool and the sun.
I took a step out to start my way down the OAK staircase, and felt something charge my other foot. (Guess who?). I think I actually went airborne and then fell down the steps and landed at the bottom in some sort of twisted position. She came right after me and as I lay there nearly paralyzed with shock and horror, she started licking my face. And not just in one spot...this was no sympathy lick. This was the hurry up, let's go, lick. Then she licked the other side of my face, then she started on my forehead. She thought, ok, you are down the steps now and we are closer to the door, which means we are closer to the car, which means we are closer to a RIDE!!!! I wanted to grab her by the trachea and squeeze. Instead I stood up to check out the damage. First of all, the trip was cancelled. Secondly, I had large bruises and lumps on me, but nothing serious. I never, ever have walked down the stairs in front of a dog since that day. My paranoia on the staircase issue is complete.
The Hike
Still no home for Layla. I wonder why that is. Perhaps it is because I didn't look for one....ever...not at all. The idea was there, but I suppose I had grown too attached to her, and things were working out well. My household was in sync and we were a happy crew.
Everyday after working at Mack Trucks, I would come home, change into hiking clothing and, especially in the wintertime, hurry out the door with the dogs. It is illegal to have your dogs off of a leash anywhere in the City of Bethlehem, but I broke those rules....often. I believe that dogs are meant to run with freedom as do their ancestors. The hiking path, I knew would be void of people at this time of day. So rather then walk them along the streets of Bethlehem, I headed out to Illicks Mills Road and would, on a daily basis, park in the lower lot of the hiking trail along the Monocacy Creek. It did happen to be a winter night and I wanted to get the hike in before nightfall. As I pulled in the lot, there was only one car there. It was a messed up beater car with some weird looking guy sitting in the driver's seat. The hair rose on the back of my neck. I sensed his strangeness, but not danger. He was watching me get the dogs out of the car (on the leash at first). I knew this because peripherally I was watching him watching me. As we hit the trail, I glanced back and he was getting out of his car. Between the trail, which is right along the water, was a set of railroad tracks which separates the hiking trail by about 50 feet of brush, thicket and trees. The trail and the tracks run nearly perfectly parallel. This guy was on the tracks and he was maintaining a slight distance behind me.
We got about a mile into the hike. Daylight was beginning to fade and not a soul was around. It was me, my dogs and a stalker.
I did an abrupt 180 on him to head back to my car. He immediately began to walk right though that 50 feet of wooded area straight toward me. He was methodical and he was moving quickly. Within a nano-second Layla, this dog I had for maybe six months, headed toward him and placed herself about 10 feet in front of me. Her paws were down, her tail was straight out, her ears were back and her teeth were showing, and she had a giant Mohawk from her neck to her tail.
She was growling, and I mean she was growling and snapping, and growling. (Wow! You go girl!) He stopped about 20 feet away from her. Her movements had been superior to his in the methodical and moving quickly area. He considered the situation for a second or two. He looked at Layla and then he looked back at me. In the seconds that all of this transpired, I kept my amazement and respect for this dog to myself but I could not help but play along. I crossed my arms across my chest, stood with confidence, and stared at this man with a little smile on my face....as in...."feeling froggy?" Now that was on the outside. On the inside I was scared shitless as well as amazed and bewildered at what was transpiring before me. Call it the perfect combination of mixed emotions. The hair on the back of my neck had already stood up in the parking lot when I first saw this guy. At this point I probably looked like Medusa. But still, I would not let my fear show. I already knew from self-defense snippets I had learned over the years that fear was the last thing I wanted to show.
It was over as quickly as it began. The man raised both of his hands to show a lack of threat and he and his scraggly hair backed slowly away and headed quickly in the opposite direction. I could not believe what I had just witnessed. A dog just saved my life. I made a promise to Layla on that very day that I would never leave her side and would give her the best life a dog could have...right up until the very end.
Layla's Saddest Time/Comeback
Billy passed in 2009. She missed him terribly. She laid on the deck and would not eat. That's was total grounds for spoiling her and I did. I sat with her and petted her. I spoke to her and told her she was beautiful. I told her that she was such a wonderful little girl. I took her in grassy areas of the yard, sat and brushed her. I gave her tons of love and tons of kudos and treats. She went grey, but emotionally, she came back.
One of the things I loved most about her was the way she would wake me up in the morning, as in "I would like to eat please." I first would feel this cool air come at me from her nose as she put it against mine. It was just a gentle little peck from her. She had no problem communicating with me by using many other, "Layla Moves." Sitting near the door meant she wanted to go "out." Sometimes it was necessary and sometimes she was playing mind games with me....perhaps she forgot that in the past 10 minutes we had just been outside and she had done her business. I went back to my writing and would tell her to "settle." She'd jump up on the love seat, which she owned, do a turn and then with a sigh, go to sleep.
What she sought could be seen in her eyes; the eyes of an old and very loving soul of a dog named Layla. I will admit....many, many times I did feel like her slave. But I also understand that I had put myself in that position and was going to keep that promise, so I was happy to give her pretty much whatever she wanted, or perhaps needed. I think it is a fact that we became soul mates. I spoke to her often because I liked talking to her. She liked being call beautiful, such a good girl, and hearing, "Mama loves Layla." She loved when I sang to her, and it was usually her namesake, the Eric Clapton song. (acoustic version).
Being the only dog in the house, who was also spoiled and stubborn, I discovered that Layla had taken a liking to eating like a pig. During my recent back surgeries I was unable to hike with her. Instead, we did have a different exercise regime for her. 3-5 times per day. I stood in the yard and she ran and got a (broken in quarter's without her knowledge) treat in opposite directions.
About one month ago, March 2015, I noticed that she was having difficulty finding her treats. So, I thought. Ok. She could be going blind. I encouraged her to use her nose to find the treat, which I hoped would keep her happy, and proud of herself. It worked. "Sniff it out baby. Come on. You sniff that out Stinkypoo!" She would find the treat and I would do the happy dance. I believe that blind dogs find their way just fine, with proper guidance. If Layla was going blind, we would find a way.
She was running fairly well considering the condition of her hips at that age. I just don't know why she had to run right into me. (I have heard that dogs do take on the owner's personality). I took some spills, but I think that might be a Karma thing. She sent me airborne quite a few times over the years. She seemed happy recently, but I saw some slowing down.
Over the past two weeks, I started having this extremely strong gut feeling that her time was coming soon. She was insisting on being outside as much as possible and it was much more often than she was used to in the past. She sat and looked at the river. She walked around the yard and sniffed every thing she could. I chased her to stop her from eating cat poop a few times. She was different somehow. It's almost as if she just wanted to totally and completely enjoy what she knew would be her last days on earth. I allowed her to lead on that one and I'm really happy that I did. Now, when she sat by the door, I did get up and take her outside, even if meant I had to stop working and it was one of her little mind games. Something was guiding me and I knew I had to accommodate her every request. She got what she wanted and that alone makes me feel better. I think she and I worked extremely well as a team to prepare her for leaving this earth.
Over the past two weeks, I started having this extremely strong gut feeling that her time was coming soon. She was insisting on being outside as much as possible and it was much more often than she was used to in the past. She sat and looked at the river. She walked around the yard and sniffed every thing she could. I chased her to stop her from eating cat poop a few times. She was different somehow. It's almost as if she just wanted to totally and completely enjoy what she knew would be her last days on earth. I allowed her to lead on that one and I'm really happy that I did. Now, when she sat by the door, I did get up and take her outside, even if meant I had to stop working and it was one of her little mind games. Something was guiding me and I knew I had to accommodate her every request. She got what she wanted and that alone makes me feel better. I think she and I worked extremely well as a team to prepare her for leaving this earth.
April 23rd, 2015
When I woke up this morning, the very last thing I thought was that I would lose Layla. But Layla did not come over and give me her wake up and feed me wet-nose signal. I have been sleeping with her in the living room because she has been having a tough time with the steps for quite some time. I sat up at 7:30 this morning and looked for her. She was laying on the carpet on the opposite side of my coffee table. She was looking at me too. I put food in her bowl, which was always of huge interest to her. She just remained where she was. Okay. Hmmmm. She would probably eat her food later. I saw her do this one other time but it was not recent. She went outside, did her business. It was a cooler day, which meant she could run errands with me. Those car rides; she loved them! We went food shopping and I noticed a large field behind the market and I saw an opportunity for her to go off leash, which she also loved. We walked the field, she ran toward a line of woods, stopped and looked around smelled all of that wonderful stuff that is nature. She circled back to me, running happily on command and came for a treat.
We and got home around noon and she simply sprawled out on the floor. Her stomach looked bloated and I ran my hands over her belly and just found massive lumps. They were on her back and on her side. I could fit my entire hand around all of these lumps that seemed to have suddenly grown on her out of no where.
I knew what this was. My friend Susan Reinholtz, a woman who has a vast knowledge of animals once said to me, "When it's their time, they will let you know." I called the Vet. They would see me in two hours. Call me crazy. I really do not care, but I will bet my life that the 2pm appointment was not an accident. I think this was what Layla wanted; her lasts two hours, in pain, with me. I picked up on that and I spent my time on the rug with her, talking to her and telling her how much I loved her. I would get lots of small "I love you too" licks on the nose. I started to brace myself. I spent two hours bracing myself.
I knew what this was. My friend Susan Reinholtz, a woman who has a vast knowledge of animals once said to me, "When it's their time, they will let you know." I called the Vet. They would see me in two hours. Call me crazy. I really do not care, but I will bet my life that the 2pm appointment was not an accident. I think this was what Layla wanted; her lasts two hours, in pain, with me. I picked up on that and I spent my time on the rug with her, talking to her and telling her how much I loved her. I would get lots of small "I love you too" licks on the nose. I started to brace myself. I spent two hours bracing myself.
Ok. I'm sure I'm REALLY insane on this one; still don't care, but Gay Lee Elwell, one of my dearest friends passed away in 2012. She was a huge animal lover. Words that seemed were not coming from me, but from her were infiltrating my mind. Whether it was God or Gay Lee, I'll never know, but I think it was Gay Lee speaking to me. She said, "Let her go, I will catch her." It was repeating over and over and over in my mind for two hours. and the more it repeated itself the more love I gave my little girl.
I called my friend Deb Brittian in North Carolina. She works with service dogs and is my "go to " person about pets amongst other things. I shot a photo to her and we got realistic. She told me that she did not like the bloating she was seeing. Neither did I. Deb was amazing in taking some of this pain from me. We both knew it was time to say good-bye to an awesome gift of love and Deb stayed with me every step of the way.
My heart sank when the Doctor told me that Layla's liver was severely enlarged. We bantered a for a few moments over what do. If she had an enlarged liver I wanted to see her liver function tests. The doctor took her back for a blood drawing. He was going to run a full blood panel. I called Deb back and told her about the enlarged liver and that I had asked for blood work. When I told her about the liver enlargement, she said, "uh, that's not good Jo." "I know," I said. "I think it's time." Deb said, "Let's see what the lab says. Call me back when the results come in."
My heart sank when the Doctor told me that Layla's liver was severely enlarged. We bantered a for a few moments over what do. If she had an enlarged liver I wanted to see her liver function tests. The doctor took her back for a blood drawing. He was going to run a full blood panel. I called Deb back and told her about the enlarged liver and that I had asked for blood work. When I told her about the liver enlargement, she said, "uh, that's not good Jo." "I know," I said. "I think it's time." Deb said, "Let's see what the lab says. Call me back when the results come in."
Fifteen minutes later, I called Deb and put her on speaker phone and the doctor could now address the two of us with the blood results. Her calcium was high, her liver and function tests were double the high end of the range, and it was pretty much a no brainer for all of us that she was just filled with cancer and her kidneys were failing and she was in terrible pain by now.
She had her ride and her walk in the sunshine one last time today. She was ready to leave. I signed off on the Euthanasia papers. I spent some time with her and then a Tech took her back for insertion of the intravenous set up. I cried in my car for a few minutes until someone in the office came out to tell me they were ready. I wanted one last photo of Layla and me and the Tech took an excellent shot that showed how much Layla and I really did love each other. It's an unforgettable photo. And I'm so grateful I have it.
She had her ride and her walk in the sunshine one last time today. She was ready to leave. I signed off on the Euthanasia papers. I spent some time with her and then a Tech took her back for insertion of the intravenous set up. I cried in my car for a few minutes until someone in the office came out to tell me they were ready. I wanted one last photo of Layla and me and the Tech took an excellent shot that showed how much Layla and I really did love each other. It's an unforgettable photo. And I'm so grateful I have it.
Layla snatched up Deb's heart when they met a few years ago. I redialed her number as she too wanted to show Layla lots of love and kind words through the euthanasia. While Deb was softly talking to Layla, I was doing the same. I had my arms wrapped around Layla and continued to speak to her with love, respect for the wise old soul that she is. I told her she was beautiful and was a good girl and I repeated that with the hopes that it was the last thing she heard. Layla gently and ever so soft and peacefully passed. She was gone from my life.
She bowed out of earth and moved on to bigger and better things, I'm sure.........
08/2003 - April 24, 2015
RIP Sweet angel
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